Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
