Im at strip club and am horny
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
You should frame my arrest warrant.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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