My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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