Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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