summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
