My room smells like vodka and shame
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
