So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Why did my mother make you get naked?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize