just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
