Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
operation have a gay friend backfired
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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