I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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