9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You made out with two different species that night
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
