Your tits are I can't wait for
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize