well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
