So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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