I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
