? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
