Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(720): View more from Colorado

How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate

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(703): View more from Virginia

Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life

(541): View more from Oregon

Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard

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(843): View more from South Carolina

Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.

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(602): View more from Arizona

just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober

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(586): View more from Michigan

you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer

(1-586): View more from Michigan

Ok let me change into clothes i can run in

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(214): View more from Texas

Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!

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