Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
