Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Randomize
