so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Even my vagina gasped.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
