My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
