Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
