i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
