I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Someone shattered a urinal.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
