Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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