Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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