go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
