We're like a lot better than the average bears
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
