I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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