I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Green mimosas i think yes
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
