Define "chronic" masturbator.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize