It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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