You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
