Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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