gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
