should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
