oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I love having hate sex.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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