She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
