the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
