Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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