I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
