my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
this beer tastes like vomit already
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
