life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
