didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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