Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
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