my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
