oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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