i just made my gag reflex go away.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
