everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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