dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
