We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize