Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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