I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
