I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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