Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
