16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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