Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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