Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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