Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
