You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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