my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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