I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
