There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
