on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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