just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
