mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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