where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
