yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
