i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
