bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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