: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
