I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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