I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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