just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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