Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
