shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
