It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
