we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize