oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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