But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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