remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
