I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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